18.8.15

Accepting that your mental illness, is as valid as any other illness



For the past few weeks or so, I haven't been very well at all. I've been off work for nearly a month now, and I constantly feel guilty for it. Every day I wake up and feel that horrible feeling in your stomach that you get, when you've done something wrong that you should feel guilty for. After nearly a month of feeling this way, I had a sudden thought. Why should I feel so guilty, for having a depression relapse? When in matter of fact; if I had a cold, a stomach bug or any other form of illness, I would not feel guilty in the slightest, as I'm ill and need time off to look after myself. I don't even know why I feel so guilty, I guess its because I haven't got anything physically wrong with me, to stop me from going to work. Thankfully, my manager is so supportive, I couldn't ask for anyone better.

I've realised, that for so many years, I had to make up excuses to miss time off school, college and uni; such as 'I've got a migraine' or 'I've got a stomach bug', because I simply couldn't bring myself to say 'I'm depressed, I feel low' as I didn't think it's a valid excuse, and people would just laugh if I told them how I was really feeling. Thinking about it now, it annoys me. It annoys me that there's such a stigma around depression, to the point where people can't simply admit that they're ill, and struggle through daily life.

I've decided to take some more time off, and really look after myself, in hope that I'll feel better. I'm on new medication now, so hopefully that will help. I'm going to try and eat better, and get at least 30 minutes excercise each day. And you know what? I'm not going to feel guilty for my time off. Because I am sick, and wether it's mentally or physically, it should all be treated the same.
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11 comments

  1. Thankyou for this post, you definitely shouldn't feel guilty for something you can't help, I have a tendency to do the same however, make excuses when really I think I need to be upfront with myself. I hope you start to feel on the up soon x

    Lucy | www.foreverseptemberr.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. I do exactly the same, aw thank you! X

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  2. Good for you, Beckie. Anyone who thinks mental illness isn't stigmatised should watch as we tie ourselves in knots about whether it's okay to take time off when we can't even make it into work in the morning. I'm 33 years old and wrestled with exactly the same things, until that beautiful day six months ago when I finally saw an occupational health adviser and an official report was sent to my work about my depression and anxiety. It's lifted such a weight off.

    I keep meaning to do a post about what people can expect from an occupational health appointment, I wonder if it would be useful because I had no idea.

    Look after yourself, lovely. Put yourself first during this time off - remember that your only responsibility is to feel better.

    Lis / last year's girl x

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    Replies
    1. Yes it would be useful to write a post on that, as I have no idea what to expect from one still!:) I've heard clients want to make one at work, but never knew and still don't know what happens in one:)
      Thank you, means a lot:) x

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  3. Really love your post ! xo
    Can we follow each other ? Let me know on my blog and I will follow back immediately xo

    BLOG | GorisHelena

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  4. Nice post, love it :) Kiss kiss from France, *-* Sand. *-*

    www.taimemode-fashionblog.com

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  5. Good for you for posting this and for taking the time out you need to get well! It's frustrating that people don't treat mental illness as seriously and like it's something you can just overcome all on your own. Feel better soon xx

    Jasmine Talks Beauty

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  6. Brave post Beckie, good for you! Lovely blog too xxx

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