Contrary to belief, depression is not just about being sad. Tonnes and tonnes of people think that the only emotion in depression is sadness and feeling low, when it's actually so much more than that. Not only do you feel sad; but you feel helpless, guilty and numb. And that's just a handful of negative emotions that you feel. Another thing that people don't tell you, is that depression is infact physically painful. I occasionally get a stabbing pain in my chest, headaches, or I even ache all over when I'm feeling really down. Nobody tells you that depression is actually terrifying. It's that scary, that it can make you feel so alone and want to hurt yoursef, or even not be around anymore. It really does become difficult to see a future. It often seems like there is no way out of depression, I mean sometimes I can't see the next hour, let alone the next day. It can sometimes be so difficult to see a way out of the illness, but you need to keep faith because you will get better - it is possible. I find my negative thoughts daunting, especially as there's no symptomatic relief. Nobody tells you this. It's not like when you've hurt yourself, or have a sore tummy. With that, you can just take some paracetamol. It's difficult to just switch off the emotions or stop the negative thoughts.
People don't realise how exhausting having depression is. I guess it's hard to imagine having no energy. Not even enough energy to get out of bed or to brush your teeth. Depression also messes up your sleeping pattern,big time. I often find myself not being able to sleep at night and being exhausted throughout the day, having to rely on several cups of coffee to make sure I can function. Even if I somehow do get a good night's sleep I still feel tired all the time. Depression also causes your thoughts to become completely irrational, and you start believing them. You believe that you are a bad person, that people don't like you, and that it's your fault that something bad has happened. But, on the good days (perhaps the next day, even) you will realise that none of these thoughts are true. The smallest of tasks become overwhelming, like washing your hair, cooking a meal or tidying your room feel like the biggest things in the world - all you want to do is crawl back into bed and never come out again. But when you do complete small tasks it is a massive achievement, and that's okay. One of the main stigmas I have noticed about depression, is that you have to be down all the time. This is far from the truth. People with depression have good days, and on those good days they can even feel extremely happy. I often find that depressed individuals also experience happiness much more intensely and appreciate happy times so much more - and I think that's really special.
Though, please please remember, depression does not have to take over you. You don't have to become your depression, you are still you, your own person. Remember that it's not a part of your personality, it is just an illness that you're suffering with.